Guiding Kids with ADHD from Feeling Entitled to Taking Responsibility

Key Takeaways: 

• A lack of expectations at home can lead kids with ADHD to feel entitled to things in life, like their phones and video games. 
• Over-giving without expecting help teaches them life owes them everything.
• Balancing rewards with responsibilities is essential for their development.

If you have no expectations of your child, and they’re not helping out at home, it's key to start setting those clear expectations. Why? Because if you don't, you're teaching them they're entitled to everything without having to think about the needs of others. And that’s doing them a disservice. 

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Understanding Entitlement 

 Helping out isn't optional, it's part of being a family – that’s what I teach kids when I hear they’re resisting their chores. It may be tempting for parents to dismiss this by saying, "I can't make them do anything", but that’s not beneficial to your child. It's important to instill a sense of responsibility in them. 

 Consider your current approach. Are you giving your kids things like smartphones or video games without expecting anything in return? Now ask yourself, why aren't you expecting them to help in return? 

The Role of Reciprocity in Relationships

 Teaching children about giving and taking in relationships helps them to develop good social skills. A constant flow of giving without expectation can lead to a skewed understanding of social interactions, where they might feel like life always owes them.

Evolving Parenting Strategies for Better Outcomes

 If you recognize this pattern of generous giving with minimal expectations, it's time to reevaluate your approach.  This better approach is something that I teach in Scaffolding Better Behavior, my parent behavior training program. This isn't about criticism but adapting strategies for your child’s betterment. They need to learn about giving, not just taking. Let's help them get there.