Update on Charlie a year later
๐จ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ฟ๐น๐ถ๐ฒ ๐ฎ ๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ ๐น๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ
A year ago, when I first spoke with Charlie's mother, she told me how Charlie would walk around school with headphones to cover his ears. Charlie does not have autism; he does not have sensitivities to sound and wasn't wearing them to help him focus. The headphones served as a type of "security blanket" to him. I suggested to his mother that she give him a few days' notice and let him know that the following week, he would no longer be wearing the headphones in school. The following week, the school staff told Charlie's mother that they felt he "really needed the headphones" because he was tearful sometimes throughout the day.
I knew the school staff would likely not understand that Charlie did not need the headphones, so I then suggested he could continue wearing them in the hallways and during recess for the remainder of the year, with the understanding that he would not wear them at all in the next school year.
Charlie has not worn the headphones this school year and has had no issues.
Charlie's story is a relatively common one I hear with kids who present with some anxiety, in Charlie's case, ADHD and anxiety:
-Well-intentioned school faculty and therapists spent so much time and energy talking to Charlie about his temporary discomfort that the feelings became magnified and prolonged, preventing him from developing resiliency.
-The elementary school faculty wanted to protect him from experiencing temporary discomfort, which is admirable, but this came at the cost of helping Charlie recognize his abilities within himself and learn that his anxiety about not having headphones was temporary and would subside.
-The school faculty and therapists who worked with Charlie (incorrectly) believed that getting Charlie to verbalize his feelings about his discomfort would help him, but it had the opposite effect.
I was happy to hear from Charlie's mother that he's had a successful school year and has significantly improved his resilience and social skills.
Strategies to build resiliency are taught in Scaffolding Better Behavior, the ADHD Dude Parent Behavior Training program.
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