Top 5 Tips for Parents of ADHD Elementary Schoolers

Elementary school is a crucial period for children with ADHD, presenting both opportunities and challenges. Parents often seek practical strategies to support their child's academic, social, and emotional growth. In my latest video, I share five essential tips for parents of ADHD elementary schoolers, focusing on concrete actions to help your child thrive. We'll cover cultivating flexibility, fostering social skills, instilling responsibility, and creating a supportive environment. This is about empowering you with the tools to partner with your child on their journey to success.

1. Cultivate Flexibility, Don't Accommodate Inflexibility

Cognitive flexibility is a key executive function skill. Kids with ADHD often struggle with this, leading to social difficulties, resistance to new experiences, and controlling behaviors. Here's how to help:

• Lead with Authority: Instead of asking if they want to do something, tell them it's happening. This provides clarity and emotional safety.
• Promote Perspective-Taking: Help them see situations from different angles, understanding that others' feelings are valid too.
• Don't Accommodate Inflexibility: Avoid changing family plans or routines simply to avoid your child's distress. This only reinforces the inflexible behavior.

2. Unstructured Play is Crucial

Unstructured play is essential for developing social and executive function skills. It allows kids to practice conflict resolution and problem-solving naturally, without constant adult intervention. Give your child space to interact with peers independently, even if it requires checking in periodically.

3. Foster a Sense of Usefulness

Kids with ADHD need to feel useful. Involve them in household tasks, even if they resist initially. This builds confidence and a sense of contribution. Avoid "high giving, low expectations," where they receive everything without any responsibilities in return.

4. Lead with Confidence and Clarity

Children with ADHD thrive on structure and clear leadership. They need to know you're in charge. While some parenting approaches emphasize treating children as partners, it's important to step into your parental authority. This creates a sense of emotional safety and helps them understand boundaries.

5. Establish Daily Expectations

Having daily expectations helps children learn responsibility and reciprocity in relationships. My "Creating Daily Expectations" course teaches parents how to set realistic expectations related to household chores and behavior. These expectations can be tied to rewards, like screen time. This helps them understand that they need to contribute and consider others' needs, not just their own.

Bonus Tip: Encourage Self-Advocacy

Let your child speak for themselves whenever possible – at the doctor's office, restaurants, school meetings, even when ordering food. This seemingly small act is a powerful way to foster self-advocacy skills, which are essential for navigating the world. Begin by coaching them on what to say, offering suggestions and practicing different scenarios. For example, before a doctor's appointment, you could help them prepare by discussing their symptoms and concerns they want to address. At a restaurant, encourage them to order their own meal, even if it's something simple. This not only builds confidence but also helps them become more comfortable interacting with people they don't know, reducing anxiety in social situations.

By providing these opportunities for self-expression, you're equipping them with the tools they need to effectively communicate their needs and become their own best advocates as they grow. It also reinforces the message that their voice matters and that they have the ability to express themselves.

Watch the full video on YouTube, and don't forget to check out the ADHD Dude Membership Site to gain access to valuable resources and courses designed to support parents of children with ADHD.